![]() ![]() ![]() You don’t want the aliens to extract them directly. If the ship is hovering near your eyes, remove your contact lenses immediately and place them on the nearest table or countertop. If you have a fire extinguisher, keep it to hand as you follow the aliens around the house. If it’s repeatedly bumping against an interior door, cabinet or drawer, it wants what’s inside, and your best course of action is to open the door or cabinet or drawer or whatever before the aliens get impatient and reduce your collection of stemware to a puddle of molten glass, including those nice champagne flutes you were planning to use just as soon as you had something to celebrate. If you hear yowling or snarling coming from your bedroom, and you begin to regret confining your agitated cat and your terrified cat in the same room, undoing all the progress they’ve made in learning to get along together over the past three years - just ignore it. No one knows for sure what motivates them, but the prevailing theory is that they’re on some kind of recreational scavenger hunt, collecting a seemingly random assortment of items such as rubber bands, peanuts, crayons, lipstick, toenail clippings, blood samples and tears.ĭon’t fall into paranoid speculation about what the aliens are going to do with these items. Take three deep breaths and remind yourself that the vast majority of people who have these encounters survive, usually with only minimal injuries. Once you’ve got your cat safely shut in another room - maybe your bedroom, where your other cat is already cowering under the bed - and cleaned up any scratches you might have acquired in the process, you can go back to step one. Read more science fiction from Nature Futures The first thing you need to do is take three deep calming breaths, unless of course your cat is making that weird trilling noise they make when they see a bird, in which case the first thing you need to do is get your cat the hell out of there before it tries to pounce and the aliens blast it with one of their energy cannons. However it happened, it’s just you in the house with your two cats and something that looks like a miniature flying neon-pink Roomba. The best strategy is not to let them in, of course, but maybe you left your chimney flue open or didn’t notice a hole in a window screen, and now there’s a tiny alien spaceship flitting around your living room or kitchen or swooping under your dining-room table, and there’s really no point in self-recrimination or speculation about which of your kids might have propped the front door open while they all loaded their cars up after Thanksgiving weekend, leaving you to rattle around alone in your empty nest once again. ![]()
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